Blocklist Tribunal
An original song by Inbox Senders Club
AlbumStraight Outta the InboxTrack 20Ali G(mail) stands trial before the Inbox Protection Court in this courtroom-drama banger, sweating bullets as Spamhaus presents bounce rate spikes and suspicious signup graphs as evidence — a comedic crash course in list hygiene, sender reputation, and why permission-based sending is the only alibi that holds up under cross-examination.
3:43
Duration
Intro
[Tribunal Calling to Order]
Oyé! Oyé! The Inbox Protection Court is now in session!
Case of: The People and Spamhaus versus Ali G(mail).
Accusation: “Sending spam on a massive scale.”
Alig G: Bruv… me barely sendin’ memes…
Verse 1
Yo, judge stare down wid a stone-cold face
“Ali G, you accused of makin’ inbox a disgrace.”
Me shocked — “Spam? Me? Dat ain’t me scene!
Me emails cleaner than organic cuisine.”
Prosecutor slam graphs like dramatic TV
Showin’ spikes in signups — lookin’ suspicious to me
Bounce rate chaotic, engagement bizarre
Logs lookin’ like someone nuked me PR
But me swear on me tracksuit, me innocent lad
Me send slow and proper — nothin’ wild or bad
Still the courtroom tense like a thriller screen
Accusers think Ali wildin’ behind the machine (innit)
Chorus
The Blocklist tribunal — tension high
Me reputation hangin’ by a digital tie
The Blocklist tribunal — what could it be?
Accused of spamming — but dat ain’t me (RESPEK)
The Blocklist tribunal — truth must shine
Find da cause, clear me name, realign
The Blocklist tribunal — verdict soon
Will Ali G(mail) walk free or face doom? (booyakasha)
Verse 2
Yo, prosecutor shout “Da evidence strong!
Fifty thousand signups — in two minutes long!”
Judge gasp heavy like he swallowed a bee
Me jump up: “Bruv, dat weren’t even me!”
Spamhaus expert stroll in — calm and neat
Wid charts and logs tidy like a spreadsheet
He say, “Your honor, let’s slow this pace,
The sender may be innocent in this case.”
He point at me signup form on the screen
Exposin’ dat ting like a crime scene clean
“No CAPTCHA, no double opt in, no shield in place —
Prime target for bots to flood the space.” (innit)
Chorus
The Blocklist tribunal — tension high
Me reputation hangin’ by a digital tie
The Blocklist tribunal — what could it be?
Accused of spamming — but dat ain’t me
The Blocklist tribunal — truth must shine
Find da cause, clear me name, realign
The Blocklist tribunal — verdict soon
Will Ali G(mail) walk free or face doom? (respekt)
Bridge
[spoken, Spamhaus Expert] “Your honor…
[spoken, Spamhaus Expert]This wasn’t spam.
[spoken, Spamhaus Expert]This was *subscription bombing* — a.k.a. list bombing.
[spoken, Spamhaus Expert]Thousands of malicious signups submitted automatically
[spoken, Spamhaus Expert]to frame the defendant and harm random victims.”
Whaaaat?! Bruv, someone bombed me LIST?!
Dat’s disrespect of the highest magnitude… (booyakasha)
Verse 3
Yo, courtroom murmur like bees in a hive
Spamhaus explainin’ how da bots arrive
Attackers submit emails at ludicrous speed
Try bury legit forms wid malicious greed
Judge nod slow, like ancient oak
Understanding growin’ wid every word spoke
Defense show screenshots — signup logs burst
Names like “x9fh-q99” — bruv, dat ain’t rehearsed
Me realize me form wide open like a shop
No protection to slow da robot hop
“Ali,” expert say, “you not da cause —
Just upgrade security and respect da laws.” (innit)
Final Chorus
The Blocklist tribunal — truth revealed
Accusations dropped, reputation healed (respekt)
The Blocklist tribunal — me stand tall
Victim of a bomb, not guilty at all
The Blocklist tribunal — justice done
From chaos to clarity — case won
The Blocklist tribunal — judge decree
Ali G(mail)… innocent, officially! (booyakasha)
Outro
Me goin’ home to install CAPTCHA, Confirmed Opt In, da whole ting…
Ain’t no robot army violatin’ me forms again…
Tribunal adjourned… tracksuit approved… Ali G(mail) out.
Credits
Song: “Blocklist Tribunal” — Inbox Senders Club
Songwriter: Inbox Senders Club
Producer: Inbox Senders Club
© Inbox Senders Club. All rights reserved.